AODCCC Member Story Sharing
In this safe space, those with a lived and/or living experience of alcohol and other drugs share their stories and life experiences for others to read, in an attempt to change the conversation and look beyond stigma.
My Wish
I wish the stigma about alcoholism could be dead and buried, and alcoholism understood and accepted for the illness that it is.
I’m a recovered alcoholic, sober since my first meeting in 1994. I wish that every AOD worker would attend at least one meeting, and/or read the basic text of the program, to educate and inform themselves of this wonderful way of life and incredible worldwide fellowship based on love and service.
The 12 steps are a way of life, rather than an abstinence program. A spiritual way of life based on ancient and ageless, timeless principles that people who live well have used for thousands of years. Who wouldn’t want to live a life based on principles such as honesty, hope, surrender, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, love, responsibility, discipline, awareness, and service.
It astounds me that the AOD sector systems will put people on 10 week waitlists to see one counsellor and not refer each and every one of those people to meetings, so they may access help and support immediately. The help is available 24/7 via online platforms as well as every day of the year in face to face meetings, including public holidays and weekends, when funded services are closed. Too many alcoholics are dying when there is an incredible free and confidential service available. The evidence is there, it’s still around 89 years after it began.
The attempts by those in authority to police our language also hurts. We’re told we’re not allowed to use our language and our words. Words like alcoholic and addict help us to define and understand our problems but attempts to silence our language only serve to further stigmatise and marginalise people who have these afflictions. Please don’t tell me what words I can and can’t use to describe and understand myself and others.
I wish the stigma about alcoholism could be dead and buried, and alcoholism understood for the illness that it is.
From Lit to Lightbulb
22-23 years of age, 6 years of playing semi-professional football, to stopping all of a sudden with a loss of love for the sport.
After excessively binge drinking every weekend for 6 years at every event, function and game, alcohol slowly found its way into my everyday life.
It was used as a switch-off device by myself and a treat if I had finished one small task.
This quickly led to a couple of beers after work because I deserved it, to drinking alone every night. Watching myself slowly become addicted.
After trying to stop multiple times, I set myself some goals with the help of my partner.
I slowly moved past my addiction with exercise, soda water, alcohol free drinks and a supportive partner and family.
I definitely experienced the stigma when I first stopped drinking. There were a lot of questions like, “why?” and “how come?” and a lot of comments like, “oh that’s no fun”, or “you used to be fun”. This came from all aspects of my life.
I had to avoid a few people who I thought were good mates. They didn’t quite understand where I was at with it all and pressured me and kept buying alcoholic drinks for me.
I just kept my ground and drank non-alcoholic beers.
A quick way I dealt with this problem was to buy my own drinks, and even get 2 non-alcoholic cans and pour them into a pint glass to get the feel of holding a beer in my hand and to stop questions of “what’s that?” and “why aren’t you drinking?”.
At the football club, it’s a social normality to drink after a game.
When I was asked why I wasn’t drinking, I explained my situation to a fellow mate behind the bar he asked how the club could support me. They then ordered in non-alcoholic beers and had them readily available for me. From then on, at functions and after games, most of the boys wouldn’t even know I wasn’t drinking alcohol with them, and it just became the new normal for me.
Since overcoming my addiction to alcohol, I’m enjoying playing footy again and being around a supportive club, and I’m even coaching a team. I have gone back to TAFE to study, and I found myself a good job which I love. I am thriving.
I have since dabbled back into drinking some alcohol. But before I did, I had some serious talks with my partner about it and even set myself some ground rules. (Like no week-day beers, and never ever drink alone). This is working well for me and my situation.
Throughout my journey I have seen and experienced a lot of stigma around alcohol.
It got me thinking that our society is largely built around alcohol and drinking culture. I have seen this in the sporting world and even everyday life like going out for lunch with friends.
I was at my most vulnerable state during the pandemic and as soon as covid lock down restrictions were lifted, we were urged to get back into pubs and settings where alcohol was at the forefront. But was there any consideration for how much of an impact that would have on people like me at the time?
Trapped in a Nightmare
I started using substances and drinking just before I hit 18.
I didn’t know I had an addiction problem, I thought I was just a rebel teenager.
I couldn’t get out of the vicious cycle, a tangle, stuck, trapped, hell of a nightmare – the drink and drugs took over my life.
It took over all of me.
No control.
I went to a youth program in the city to get help.
I worked hard to gain my control back.
Since becoming a mum eight years ago I’ve been clean off meth and weed.
I want to be a role model for my kids and for them to have a life that I didn’t get.
Gill, Just an ordinary Suburban Mum
- Her Story -
My thirst for alcohol developed in my early teens when I discovered that it altered how I felt. At the age of 15, I also developed a smoking habit and for the next few decades I drank and smoked myself silly. It never occurred to me that I was using alcohol and cannabis as medication. I just did it without thinking. When I reached my 50th birthday I came face-to-face with my deep unhappiness. By then, I had already stopped smoking thanks to two pregnancies. But there I was with two teenagers who were watching me pour wine down my neck every night and waking me up during a family movie to tell me that I’d missed the best bit! The booze made me very cranky, and I was in the never-ending cycle of wishing for it to be five o’clock so that I could switch my mind off with a large drink. I began to feel extremely guilty about the type of role-model that I had become for my kids. I imagined how I might feel if they also started looking for happiness in the bottom of a bottle. After much rumination and a few weeks of abstinence here and there, I finally decided that the best option for me and my family was to stop drinking completely. Of course, that brings its own challenges. I soon felt the raw feelings creeping in. The pain of a difficult childhood that I had been numbing for decades reared its ugly head. I sought help. I found AOD (Alcohol and Other Drug) support services and, after a few weeks on a waiting list, I finally got the help that I so desperately needed.
The first step in my recovery journey was admitting that I had a problem. The second was opening up to the counsellor at the AOD support service who recommended I attend their weekly women’s group. Through the group I found connection that made me feel more worthy. I learnt healthier strategies for managing my anxiety and stress, not just from the educational component of the group sessions, but also from the women themselves.
Addiction does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone. It is just one of the ways in which some people survive the trials and tribulations of their lives. While it is often difficult for people around us to watch us grapple with addiction, compassion and non-judgement are two qualities that are extremely helpful. When a person is stuck in the dark hole of addiction, they are often heavily burdened with awful shame and self-loathing for being in that hole in the first place. When we see a helping, caring hand being extended towards us, we are given hope that maybe, just maybe, we might get to climb out of that ugly place towards the light of a brighter future.
I am so grateful for the support that is available to us as it really does save lives.
It takes strength to ask for help but it is a choice that we never ever regret in recovery.
Remember, if you feel you are in need of help or guidance around alcohol and other drugs or mental health challenges, you can visit our resources tab for a full list of supports available to you.
